Friday, April 24, 2009

Pol pot, Magabe and my garden

this was my reply after someone saw my crime report on frost!! and found it funny (see pervious post) but then said "I wish people treated other people in the same way we treat our plants" this was a forum so I haven't put every thing if you wish to see my origianl post I had copied and pasted it from a previous post to the garden website!

after a day of beating myself up for being sooo stupid, I had indeed, early that evening ventured out to inspect "the troops" as I call them and came in telling hubby "gosh its parky (cold) out there", about an hour later I suddenly said oh no! I haven't covered the troops and I went out in my PJ's and it was sooo cold I ran in again and thought, they will be alright I've hardened them! even though I knew they where all heat loving plants! Bad, Bad, mummy! And I agree about the if we all cared about people as much as we care about plants...it would be a better place, I check my children in the morning then my plants, that said I wouldn't leave my kids uncovered, I hope I would run barefoot over coals for them! but don't test me on that! haha, but why do I feel so stupid? I can buy food!
and the reason I agree is that unfortunatly there are people out there who have cottoned on to treating plants badly as well as people and you hit them all ways, Pol Pot, Mugarbe! "little bit of politic there" Ben Elton comedian UK well at least he was in the 80's and early 90's now he does Andrew Lloyd Webber Musicals....ahh! PS: I call them the Troops because that's what my Pop (Grandad) and Dad called them, and Ex Army both of them I think they where allowed to do that! haha, dad and grandad used to come in and say man down when a plant died....I can't believe I have only just remembered that this minute! actually thats good next post on dead plants should be army action based movie???

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Susan Boyle , My Teeth and other stuff

I for the most part will think this woman is amazing...how not discovered before ect, ect but in Americia they are going wild, how can some one so ugly be soo good, well wake up! I find alot of your talent is insisting on perfection in looks, and the UK is creeping towards that, and I hate it I want real people.
I am fed up with the bad teeth jokes about UK people, my boys are tracing every scar on my face since we move to the US, I have 3, one on my lip... from the, "don't run with a knife in you mouth!!!", 2nd on my forehead from a car accident at low speed, with seatbelt on, but agreed by insurance company seatbelt failed, £1oo for that and a basal cell carcanoma on my cheek, my body is covered in scars one for every year of marrage,haha! laproscopy, appendix, femoral for my heart op, breast op where the dear old NHS for all everyones complaints treated my head not my body, I know It was a fibroid insect bite...but I was still worried it was Cancer as I had lost my mum to it, cut my finger on a toliet, we where throwing out another stich, another finger scar inflicted by a consultant who throw his scalpel at me and hit my finger...maybe I should sue?
and my greatest scar ever my c-section, my body will never be the same but by heck what a way to loose you figure? you actually produce people? its seems so improbable, and they are going to drive you wild but amazing all the same, 10 years 10 scars and all much loved. I used to hate my forehead scar but it has calmed down, the nurse who repaired it unfortunatly commited suicide 2 weeks later...you learn this stuff when you are a nurse in the same group of hospitals, Ifound this out 9 months later moaning that it wasnt a great fit (the scar) not bad but not brilliant...then you think "biggest wake up call ever"(amanda holden) what is a small scar compared to a life.
In 1995 I had an American friend come to stay and I showed her" men behaving badly" and "Abfab" she sat there stone faced but refused to go to the pub with me, I arrived home and she said they are sooo funny but your actors are soo ugly, I'd never even considered that they where ugly before I just thought they are normal! but now Britain is heading that way with Hollyoaks ect, thank god the next Doctor Who is quirky looking, Please, Please Britain lets celebrate normality, bad teeth, and our scars, wear you life with pride!
On the note of bad teeth, I have the worst teeth ever, they are small and pointy, covered in stains, from tea, I used to think it was smoking till I gave up for several years andthey where still as bad, they are crooked, I had 4 adult teeth removed at 11 but my mouth is still overcrowed, but I only need to visit the dentist once a year the last four dentist I have had have had to replace a filling I had as I child, and asked ..."was you dentist Australian..?" unfortunatley yes, I have small pointy, stained teeth but as strong as diamond! and I have looked into cosmetic dentistry and decided to give it a miss and they all weaken your teeth! my dad died with all his teeth intact (appart from wisdom teeth) at 67 and my Grandad is 90 and still has his own teeth, he was my mums father, so I think on two side of the family I have inherited rock hard teeth, all be it not pretty but rock hard, so back to the point America wake up and realise that ugly people are talented as well and Britain don't go down Americas route... we want good people not pretty people... but of course pretty people can be talented, it just a lot a talented people get lost amongst the beautiful people!

Monday, April 13, 2009

Frost in Killing Spree!

At 9am this morning a peaceful neighbourhood in Connecticut was awoken to a sight of complete devastation, Frost had killed 3 sweet peppers outright and a egg plant and Tomato are on the critical list, Frost had fled the crime scene and believed to be heading for the Canadian Border.

Officials are said to be looking into the rumour that an incompetent Gardener may have contributed to the disaster by not following official guidance on the Health and Safety of plants.

"it has come to our attention that despite warnings that Frost was in the area, the gardener responsible for these innocent plants, did not follow basic safety procedures, in this instance the covering of her charges with a upturned 2 litre soda bottle, our investigators have found evidence that this equipment was just inches away from the beleaguered plants and they must have been tormented in their last few hours that the means to save them was so close" stated Artie Choke, lead investigator into the tragedy.

Sources close to the gardener have reported that on realising the dangers to her charges, attempted to save them and on getting to her door is said to have been forced to retreat back due the the cold, stating "f23k me! its brass monkeys out there!"

The investigation continues and charges of negligence have not been ruled out.

Reporter Tom Mater, for Yukon Gold News Network.

***News Update Eggplant and Tomato dispite heroic attemps to save them, where pronouced Compost at 2pm ECT***

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Don't let them get you money without a fight!

Ways to save money! first don't spend it! simple but brilliant rule! this is easier than it sounds, we all waste money buying things we don't use, just go into your bathroom and count how many part used bottles of shampoo and conditioner, bubble bath and shower gel you have? no don't hide! go and look! right, its embarrassing isn't it? and everyone of these product promised luscious locks or silky smooth skin right? and you fall for it! no don't cry, its not your fault, billions and billions are spent by companies finding out what makes us tick, its psychological warfare and they want to win, by getting your money!

So what to do? well I would start by packing away all but 1 of you shampoos and conditioners, bath oil and shower gels and use it til its finished! then get the next one out, radical idea isn't it? what you don't like brand x? why not? because it didn't give you hair which would have Rapunzel cutting her own wrists for? be honest, do you like any of them? No! because they don't deliver the promises, they just clean hair! they can't repair hair as hair is dead, split ends? get a haircut its the only cure! dry hair, don't wash it so often! you pay to have the oil striped out of your hair then pay to put it back in with conditioner! only if your genuinely allergic or sensitive to a product should you pitch it straight in the trash.
And moisturisers don't even get me started! most of what they claim is complete boswelox!
"There is always toothpaste in the tube" Bill Bryson, and he is right! I normally get another week out of my tubes by sniping the end and shoving my toothbrush in, seal with a paperclip or peg, if this seems too difficult, I would add that I find getting in the car to buy stuff is difficult! loading and unloading the car is difficult!
So you think putting off buying something for a week is not going to save you much money? well no it isn't but when you add up all the little savings they can be substantial, the saying "look after the pennies and the pounds (dollars) will look after themselves" it very true.
here are some more tips:-
Jar of instant coffee finished, next time you want a drink boil the kettle pore in a little of the water to the jar, swill it round and then pore into your cup and top up! you may even find that this is a little strong, so pore a little into 2 cups, enjoy.
Sweet pepper about to go past its best, next time you put the oven on for something chop it up toss it in veg oil (for UK readers I originally wrote toss in veg oil! you and your nasty little minds :0) ) put on tray whilst oven is heating or cooling down after cooking, leave it til you can smell it and it has gone soft(!! stop it, you UK people!), take out and freeze use it next time you make pizza or pasta sauce it breaks up easily and doesn't take up much room in the freezer, this also works for egg plant and zucchini. and tastes delish, other veggies and fruit look on Internet and find how to prepare them for freezing, Parsnip is soooo nice after freezing I am tempted to put it in when I have just brought it.
Left over mash/pasta? freeze in small portions for days when you are in a hurry. or cook up you spuds if you feel they may go bad and either part roast and freeze or make mash and freeze, or you could let them go "bad" if the right time of year and plant them out and see what happens! a lot of people recommend you don't do this but I am a chancer that some pest or potato virus will go in the soil. (rice is a biggie for food poisoning, I do it but I am very, very careful!)
other stuff to plant, garlic, ginger, leek bottoms apparently they have a flower, avocado I could go on and I will...only joking! try this you might like it? my favourate are frugal (obviously) veg, square foot, lasagna, winter sow and junk! that's got you thinking! what could it beee!
When you have finished shampoo, conditioner, washing liquid, dishwasher gel, laundry detergent...you haven't trust me, you haven't! like coffee warm water, swill it around a little and hay presto at least 2 more uses.
start looking at things in your house and work out what can work for you and where you constantly waste money on the new wonder product, remember man went to the moon in 1968 we haven't got much further! (I was talking man not robots to mars!) so exactly how new and improved is it?
I will expand on this subject soon, and in the mean time DON'T THROW ANYTHING AWAY! that is my next lecture Haha!

Saturday, April 11, 2009

OGD, it offical!

Obsessive Garden Disorder! I am now out wind, rain ect I want to put rulers by them! I am asigning them personalities for gods sake! I have thick pea! no matter how many times I Show him the cane he flops over! when I say show, I mean lean him against!! he is doing my head in! and believe me, he is a he! sad but true!

So British!

a few week ago I was left on my own in a shopping type place very spread out and no car,but no problems I think I have 2 legs and I navigate my way round faily well until I need a drink, then I think as much as fast food joints take plasic will they take it for a coffee? any way unsure and spy a bank! I walk round it twice and conclude no ATM unless you are in a Car!! so what to do? I queued! I draw a small crowd! the car drivers where confused I was even more confused, why no predestrian access! madness!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

tightwad or frugal you decide?

I have for many years taken the piss out of my DH for his frugal/tightwad ways as his father said he would buy shit in a bucket if it said bargin or sale! that said he has found some amazing deals, and truth be known I am on the same page, but I work differently, if I want or need something I start by looking at what I already have, its amazing how many times after thinking for a few days, that I find the ideal item in the house! such as my raised bed in previous post, this grew from a previous idea, when I wanted hubby to take a old bed frame to the dump, as we struggled down stairs with the headboard I suddenly thought! I could use this as a trellis, DH happy all round, not only have I saved money by not having to buy trellis, but I saved him a trip.

any road up I have surpassed my self in the last 2 days, first was I walked down to the local super market and needed eggs noticed a $1 off coupon for land of lakes eggs attached to the rail, but also the store was running a promotion on one of the land of lakes eggs for 99c so I thought I'll give it ago, I bet they don't honor the coupon, there will be something in the small print!!! but no they honored the whole $1 so I ended up being paid 1c to take them away! and today I brough seeds for 20c a packet which where priced at 99c I was honest enough to say these are priced 99c and the girl said oh yer, we haven't got round to putting up the sign, so for 39c + tax I have got 12 eggs, carrots and cauliflower which hopefully should do us a few months??? we will see how they grow?

oh and on other things I have got for free or cheap, today I got my first copies of redbook and good housekeeping, I really like magazines especially when abroad, you can sometimes find a English language mag, and I find these a useful insight into a country, so about every couple of months I have brought both these mags in the super market, and you do learn a lot, such as Americans actually have a very similar humour, bet you did think that, when they let rip it is really funny, in fact I would say there is more humor in these than British mags, also the worries are so similar and then so different we don't have health insurence problems ect, anyway I when not drinking tea which I do by the gallon, I drink Coke by the gallon, and I noticed that there is a coke rewards thing so I signed up and in my first 3 weeks earned enough point to get a free years subscription to Good House Keeping, I would like to point out that I had a few bottles in the garage awaiting the trip to the bottle bank! we are so slack at doing that! for the UK people you get 5c back on every bottle or can you recycle, which seems not alot but I have never got less than $10 for 10 minutes work and the satifaction of the crunching or smashing, can not be measured! so anyway signed up and and got an offer for the redbook and homes and gardens for $10 for a years subscription for both, baring mind I have been spending $2.50 on these each! this is a good deal and delivered to your door, on reflection I should have waited! as I now up to 83 coke points, so not far off another free subscription but hay ho you live and learn!

my caveat would be if you don't actually drink coke this is an expensive way to get these things, but if you do, the awards can be amazing! (I also had a party after the original points splurg so a lot of coke consumed then (not by me :0) )

Hush! are their any boys around? not for the faint hearted this one...Sanitary product! or a I like to call them Tampon and Towel I am having to write thi5 without the aid of an 5 5o I will 5ub5titute with a 5, I can't fix it! the computer i5 buggered for the lack of a 5!!!!! grurr!
ju5t 5o you know if you will out the free 5tuff at walmart I very rarely have to pay full price or actually buy any becau5e there are 5o many offer5!! al5o Ly5ol never pay full price, they have 5oooo many money off, offer5!
I am 5ooo 5mug! except for the I now may need a new computer!!!!, for the want of a nail....